Friday, October 20, 2006

Irrelevance/Malevolence/Iraq-Federline


Try saying that title ten times fast. Ok, well that's not my point.

Two subjects of not today, Federline and Bob Woodwards "State of Denial-Iraq Part 3"
Seeing as the two having nothing in common I will start with K-Fart.
It's been an interesting week for Fed. I caught his appearance on WWE Raw completely by accident. Seeing him enter the arena, knowing what reception the obnoxious wrestling fans would greet him with, being obnoxious camera hounds themselves had me realizing that he was clearly stepping out of his protective box., Somebody is clearly aware that he cannot possibly look good or even remotely credible, all that remained to be seen is whether he would suffer physical damage.
After calling the LA Crowd "Superficial Poseurs" Ha ha haha HA!! He came into the ring to perhaps explain why he would not trade "microphone skills" with former "white-boy rappper" gimmick/current "Marine" gimmick star John Cena and got slammed with Cena's FU finisher. All I can say is Suh-Weet!!!
Now the other night, Federline and band show up on the Tonight Show. Now there isn't a talk show host that hasn't dragged Kevin through the dogshit alley, so the guy has no pride, no realness at all, he has however, an "album" coming out this month so, guy's no other purpose on this Earth other than impregnating Britney than to promote this turkey.
I will not post the video from Tonight show, just go to YouTube and see for yourself, unless you saw the broadcast. The studio audience was awful quiet. No clapping along, very mild applause at the end, but when Jay came out with Sally Field (!) the applause rised considerably. Good for those audiences of superficial poseurs indeed. The real scam, however remains to be seen. I feel there is a purpose to the mechanations of this publicity machine, knowing that this dork is so completely unlikeable and unattractive.
Fed reminds me of another Kevin I used to know. In 1993 I was in a band called Stick Figure. It featured a tall skinny white boy rapper named Kevin. What I remember about him were his big white sneakers, his whiny rap style, and the way he skipped town after owing a lot of people money (including me) from a record label he started that went under. (Deja vu Federation records???) Actually the band had a little bit of spirit, this was a time that most rap lyrics had social conscience and our signature song "I died a little today" was about a friend who OD'd, and y'know....bummer.
K-Fed's lyrics? Well, he's having a great time drinking Cristal, smoking who knows what and partying with his imaginary friends on who's dime? Oh yes, the Brittster whos at home with 2 babies, a bag of Cheetos, waiting for Aliens to take her to Starbucks. What's not to like?


Enough of HIM, let's move on to Woodward.
I read the excerpts of his new book in NEWSWEEK and I'm simply shocked. I'm believing it and I feel like running down 15th street and screaming "Rumsfeld!! Where are you, you War Pig!!" The state this war is in is so fucked up, I know you've heard it before but you're hearing it from me now. Well, you heard it from Woodward...if you bought the book on tape version you heard it from him...wait does he narrate it? I dunno, never picked up one of them things. Hey, I do read, I might even read this book if the library has it...damn I'm mad.
So, we invade in March 2003, we set up an Office for Post-War Iraq planning, installing this guy Jim Gardner as it's head and he does a study of the tasks at hand to figure out what needs to be done to run the country. 6 out of 10 points he made were clearly not in our capacity, most having to do with security. (sorry don't have the article in front of me, damn I'm a lousy journalist). This study gets ignored while we bomb the shit out of Iraq and eventually capture Saddam. Hooray! Click Click!!
Rumsfeld installs this guy Bremer to replace Gardner, although offically they offered Gardener some kind of second-bananna consultancy position, but Bremer makes all the decisions..and here comes the big mistake: Bremer dissolves the Iraqi Army and the Ministry of Interior, simply because they were of the Baath Party and in charge under Saddam. Well that's great, Rummy wanted to start the whole government and the Army from scratch, any of Saddam's men can't be in any position of power. Talk to most Iraquis and they'd tell you they'd shed not a tear if Saddam was no longer in power, the army and government workers would follow any new head of state, especially if they had clout and security behind it. But they're all out on the streets and have nothing so where do they end up? Sectarian groups fighting for turf, old wounds opened up, blame the Americans and their inadequate forces of security and trigger-happiness. Fucking chaos!
The opinions are rolling in from high and low, Woodward asks Rumsfeld point blank what he thinks of them and Rummy mistakenly thinks he is referring to an imaginary pile of "intelligence reports" all conflicting with each other day by day. He even compares varied reports of insurgent activity to fruit in a basket!!! Say an IED bomb taking out 4 Marines in a humvee is an orange, small arms fire is an apple, a suicide bombing of an Iraqui Police station is a honeydew. Etc.
Gardener had a couple of meetings with Bush and his advisors (we know who they are) and found it to be a jocular, formal, not at all unpleasant if non-productive experience. "Stay the course, kick some ass" and it's all a hunky-dory party on De-Nile. He met with Rumsfeld in 2004 after Bremer disbanded the Iraqui army and chaos became more widespread and tried to turn things around before things got too our of hand. Rumsfeld says, "we are where we are so there's not much we can do about it"
DENIAL DENIAL DENIAL!

Aargh! It's time to get mad people! If all we can do is put the Democrats in control of Congress to turn this thing around before it really is too late then we have to do it