L'Rewind: The Beginning (Now I'm just asking for trouble)

Well ladies and germs (all present?) My season 4 wrap up was such a huge success (3 comments!) that I had to be true to my word and watch season l'one of "L". Not necessarily that I need a PHD-like understanding of these iconic and culturally prescient characters, but more about how rare and essential it is to find a big chunk of programming me and my girlfriend can share somewhat comfortably. (My manhood is still attached to my greater torso).

My "what do you think of her?" rating system is as follows: Likeability/Doability Factor (LF/DF).


LF/DF: 8/6
A slight dip in the looks department. It seems the producers can't decide on a look for her. Sometimes punk, sometimes preppy, episode 13 has her in a 60s polyester suit and swept back hair as she makes her desperate mystery move on Dana. Very odd indeed. I would think this move would be symbolic of her primary motivation:to maintain her close friendship, paticularly with the perenially troulbed Dana. I loved her flashback to her college band (her coming out story). The experimental affair with lesbian-identified Male, Lisa (??) is a testimonial to A's searching and confused path to fulfillment, thus a person better suited to serve her friends than herself.


LF/DF: 6/5
Bonus points for her brave front grabbing and defending the "Provocations" show. Minus points for leaving her phone off when Tina was in a panic (after promising to do so), guilt tripping Tina after she returned from NY, and for getting jealous of Tina's charity work, and cheating with Candacel (although I wanted them to get it on in the jail cell). So we see the signs of Bette's controlling nature graduate through the series that will eventually destroy her thing with Tina, that will be a recurring theme in Season 2 no doubt. Beals' "method acting" is starting to get on my nerves, frankly.


LF/DF: 8/8
It is refreshing to see a bit of New York style self-conscious turmoil in this freewheeling circle. For family and career, Dana finds herself in the closet unable to follow up on her impulses, or even look her best. As far as she comes in overcoming these obstacles with the game and garrolous Lara, Dana pushes forward to wriggle into a comfort zone. She settles with the annoyingly JAP-ish, stalkerish cat-murderer Tanya because she fullfills Dana professionally and pads her ego, not seeing the totally selfish nature of T. Sad to see someone who works so hard at self-improvement doomed to imminent tragedy.


LF/DF:1/3
Tim LF/DF: 6/n.a.

I will introduce Jenny in the proper context: an appendage, a wife-to be, a neighbor. We are voyeuristally exposed to Jenny as a someone who exists in a series of reactions, someone not fully in control, exposed to a world, an atmosphere, a set of impulses that are all new to Jenny, who is "an innocent". It is indicated that she is a writer capable of dark imagery, and as her professor insists, she must act upon impulses to expunge these experiences into sullen dank prose. That is her gift. But who reads fiction anyway? It is only after she has obliterated both sides of her sexual conquests that she finds a metaphorically safe venue to expound on: the mating rituals of the manatee. But in the process she meets Gene, a marine curator, and in the process doubly cuckolds Tim.
Tim is an archaic male character. A jock settling down with a High School girlfriend. Clearly he is too dumb to not anticipate
a lesbian hijacking by bringing Jenny to LA. He must not be paying attention to the glances being exchanged at the planet, perhaps he is a grab your mug and go kinda guy. Neighbors Bette and Tina must have seemed mature and settled to Tim, unaware of the cabal the lezzies barely contain (see the chart!) Tim is hopefully deranged, going through with the marriage then leaving Jenny in Tahoe, remarkably restrained allowing her to rent the tool shed, which is finely remodeled. I'll give the writers credit either way for making Tim, under the circumstances suitably complex. Go back to Salt Lake, Timmy!


LF/DF: 8/6

Pam looks very well put together this season and seems on a good path to sobriety. I expect big trouble in Season 2 when her recording deal with Slim Daddy (played by Snoop Dogg-holla!) falls through and Bette gives her a big I told-you-so glare.
The depression will set in, she'll start drinking and maybe take up with some slobby guy. This will break the heart of Ivan (Kelly Lynch), the pompodour-femulletted drag king who has made a big romantic play for her affections. It is a shame that Kit will not join the pack for it seems that not only does Ivan care deeply for her, she could also keep Kit sober, having been through the program for a decade or so.


LF/DF: 3/5

Serious character deductions folks. Julie was constantly prodding me, asking "Isn't she beautiful? Isn't she just gorgeous? C'mon tell me!!" Look, I see the Ingrid Bergman with rock hard abs vision of smoldering sexuality doling out lattes and loving. But what in Hell's Honey Hole is this woman doing persuing the psycho straight waif Schecter???? Isn't that breaking code or something? I understand the arrangement she has with her girlfriend Francesca, but Marina could have nipped it all in the bud by the time F got home from her work. I think the experience should have taught her a lesson in dealing with straights, but I suppose ruining a marriage and ruining her own relationship/business arrangement are miniscule when looking into THOSE EYES....THOSE thin lips....those bony hands...that unpublished genius of a homeless troublemaker, who has told her off, insisting theirs was a mistake etc. Marina sinks further, dragging herself to Jenny's level by horning in on Jenny's first lesbian conquest (Robin). Trying to make Jenny jealous? Bitch please, my head's gonna explode!!


LF/DF: 7/8

It's tough to do, but I have to give Shane some demerits for having too big a heart. I know it's early, and her hustling days, though they feel quite distant are less in the past than they are later, but possessing coke, doing coke, giving coke to hustler buds and letting them crash in your already crowded apartment, well that's just trouble. Toughen up, be a dick, especially to hustler junkies and be stronger than what you have overcome. And be a proper mentor to a troubled youth and don't let yourself be a victim to their drama. Clea fucks up a sweet deal with Shane's salon, but that might have been doomed anyway with the dramatic passive-aggressiveness Sherri (Rosanna Arquette). And how does Shane manage to "fall in love" with this woman so quickly, as this is so not "the way of Shane?" Perhaps the hustling is still not far behind her, the lure of the quick buck, the sweetheart deal. Shane is looking a bit more femme here, and still a down to earth friendly sort.


LF/DF: 8/9

Here's the steal of the season. I had no idea Tina was this hot seeing her in season 4. Very sweet and wholesome looking, so supportive and generous. Taking humiliation and emasculation with selfless devotion a. having a baby with lesbian lover, b. having large Afro-American sperm in her body, a bit challenging to a WASPY woman, c. dealing with crazy Asian wife threatening legal action, having to deal with her single-handedly. d. via TV magic, managing to still look very hot, maintain love of domesticity while showing no overt signs of imminent pregnancy. e. dealing with total rejection of Bette's father (the late Ossie Davis). Her reaction to Bette's infidelity was quite understandable, sympathy points for being overpowered and fingered forcibly. Minus points for being all hung up on group therapy and excess talk of vaginal discharge, asst. baby blather.

More characters (unpictured)

Candace Lf/DF: 7/7
Dayum! Hottest thing in overalls since Bo Duke.

Francesca LF/DF: 4/6
First I felt her arrangement was justified, both can have affairs when she and Marina are apart. Understandable to play a few games with Jenny when Fran sensed the hubbub. But the controlling nature became a bit too tight for reason. Money corrupts.

Ivan LF/DF: 9/4
Just an entertaining goil with style and love to give.

Lara LF/DF: 8/8
Just a fun flirty femme fagale. She did all she could to bring Dana out, make her feel good, sexy and loved. She deserves better treatment than she got. She didn't see the star Dana, she saw geeky scared closeted hottie Dana.

Robin LF/DF: 7/5
Bonus points for showing boobies. Negative points for being gullible enough to get caught in Bermuda Triangle i.e. Jenny/Marina mess.

Sherri LF/DF: 3/6
Selfishly seduces Shane, subsequently spurns same. Insufficient proof. Destructive!

Tanya LF/DF: 1/1
If she had just done her job, fine. But alas, someone with a lower rating than Jenny.