Wednesday, December 27, 2006

End of music/year of Best 2006-The


Sorry, I have nothing prepared.
Actually what prompted this post, this dime a dozen idea that everyone in the blogosphere postulates, their top albums of the past year, was not anything that I bought this year. But I admit, I don't think I bought a new album this year, who does anymore, but you know, there are other ways. If I ever made an album, and I tried thrice, nobody would buy it anyway, so FU.

What worries me tonight is not the state of the musical consumption index, but what the fuck happened to David Bowie's voice?
After a listen to a special Xmas release of DB with Pink Floyd performing their first single, Syd Barret's "Arnold Layne", I am sincerely dreading a world without a David Bowie. Now he could die tomorrow, or get incurable laryngitis, lose a lung in a cab or something, but to hear him struggle is even worse. Fancying him as one of those guys who does more with less seems absurd.

Now James Brown could get away with half assed singing. He's been grunting gobbledygook for years, but a guy in his 70s that can still do the Mashed Potato is something to behold. Sadly he is now gone too. His hitmaking days are long gone, his last hit 20 years past, he was not the reinventive kind of guy. He was an innovator in one particular genre. He could adapt funk with Disco, with pop strings, with big 80s drum sound. Pizzy and Ludacrap and all those biters can steal his shit and make money for decades to come. As we can already see, the Estate of JB is in shutdown mode, to protect a huge empire from being stripped clean. Still, they should let the last wife back into her house to get a few things shouldn't they? I mean even FedEx managed to get through his former home's gates to pick up a few ball caps, right?

So um, I'm at a loss to opine on any hot release of '06 at this time. However I have gabbed at length about Tenacious D and K-Fed in previous posts so, go back and read that if you are so disposed.

Sunday, December 24, 2006

Xmasukkah Mullitude



Being a Jew during the Xmas season has sometimes given me pause to break out my jolly stick. Not that Hannukah is sober, not at all, there have been some great ones. What has always been there is my giving in small ways to balance the two great spiritual forces and generally deflect them outward in that spirit of All-American inclusiveness. We do it all here. I wouldn't necessarily want equal time between a jolly Rebbe and a even more jolly St. Nick. Wait, is Santa Claus the same guy? What do I call him? Nicholas Claus? Mr. Claus, what is a Santa any way, a saint is a saint, and he sure does saintly work alright. Does it make sense to put on pounds for appearance sake but have to climb up and down chimneys and such.
It is a priviledge and an obligation of this blog to ponder these things, while enjoying the priviledge and joy of the accoutremont and the love of this season with my lovey counterpart. By staying in town and avoiding the greater family entanglements we are giving back to our more isolated comrades, some going through painful breakups, soothing them with wine, melted cheese and pleasant chat. J asks if I mind all this, no of course not. I enjoy the company and I enjoy the giving, like a spoon of porridge to young Mr. Twist.
Merry all, happy all.

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Man about town at Xmas time.


What's it like having a social life? Well, you go to parties, you're invited to places, especially during the holidays when everyone's you know...cheery.

Enjoy if you will a few pictorial highlights from a couple of parties me n' girlfriend attended this past week. One was at this old place in DC, don't know if you've heard of it, The WHITE House. You've heard of it, right? Huh?

Monday, December 04, 2006

Deconstructing The D


The other night, girlfriend and I were watching Tenacious D perform on Saturday Night Live. Being that we live in a small, thin walled apartment of fellow hard-working adults we respect our neighbors peace even on weekend evenings. If we were young and lived in an unfurnished basement or frathouse we might be more apt to enjoy the implied power and glory of this revisionistic heavy metal tribute band the D portray themselves to be. Alas, a lass, she commented "I don't get them".
While I gave her a cursory explanation of what the D is about, in their respective aspects of humour, parody and straight up musicality, I feel an in depth study is called for. Great for those blog for those who read it so, here' tizz, fo' shizz.
The D makes great reference to the more commonly known aspects of 1980s era Metal (pre-1986 hair metal which is false)
a)Those aspects are the worship of Beelzebub aka Satan etc.
b)The power of true metal and it's host power Satan to rid the world of false metal and authority figures seen as obstacles to one's ascention to musical greatness and worldly glory.
c) The sheer ridiculousness of these notions and the resultant geekification of the sorry ass kids who buy this marketing gimmick, taking it so far that it becomes the focal point of their life and social viewpoint.
Best example noted in the documentary Dream Decievers http://imdb.com/title/tt0104140/

On their first self-entitled album, the D declared that their power to rock, in classic blues fashion, derived directly from Satan. While most people took Devil Worship seriously in the 80s, as a direct threat to the young fan's attitudes of all-American values, today it is something to lampoon, pure satire. But if anyone took it seriously, the D went so far as to specify exactly what they wanted from Satan and what they didn't want from Satan (see Anal Sex) and were willing to fight for their gifts and their earthly souls.
On their current album (which I don't believe can be called a soundtrack to the movie-The Pick of Destiny) they pull their hero from a slightly less ancient region of the evil netherworld, 33rd cubicle of section 666, belonging to one Ronnie James Dio.
Who Ronnie James Dio is is an integral point to the core of the debate about 1980s heavy metal, the true metal.
Is it the music to move men's souls to unimaginable divination?
Or is it cheezy 3 chord schlock with horrid coloratura warbling by men with more hair on their chest than their scalp?

Ronnie James Dio replaced Ozzy Osbourne in Black Sabbath from 1980-1983

Black Sabbath started as a hard blues band from Birmingham called Earth. They hooked up with wild street thug John Osborne in 1968. During their 10 year run through 1978, the principal songwriters and business movers Tony Iommi and Geezer Butler basically treated Ozzy like a hired gun, content to let him go wild on and offstage with drugs and drink, essentially a rudderless ship with a steady gig. By 1978, their music was in decline and Ozzy was burnt out and greatly disenchanted with the results of the Never Say Die album, which was mixed in a freezing Toronto recording facility.
Ozzy was dropped like a hot potato, but was saved from a boozy demise by his future wife and manager Sharon.

The rest is history.



Ronnie James Dio briefly sang in Deep Purple guitarist Ritchie Blackmore's side project Rainbow, but apparently the artistic differences became too much for the two to take. Apparently what Sabbath wanted was a more professional singer with range and an ego to match their own. Dio's image, at whatever point he adopted it was more of a mystical magical caster of spells, a force for evil or good, depending on your point of view. Ozzy, as always was seen as an everyman, a victim of circumstance, caught in a mental trap between worlds: good and evil, Hell and Earth. Dio's Sabbath netted 2 studio albums, Heaven and Hell and Mob Rules, and a live album. Sabbath's next album featured yet another ex-Deep Purple related member, Ian Gillan on vocals on the Born Again album, but their success was eclipsed by a gargantuan wave of more heavy metal bands and thus they lay low a few years.
DIO saw adequate success as a solo band due to a few good songs, a guitar wiz Vivian Campbell and a cult following of fans who actually felt Dio was a more legitimate singer than Ozzy. Ozzy couldn't sing as well, and was also a sell-out because of his immense solo success and perhaps from being spurned by the Heavy Metal Godfathers, the originators of all evil.
Dio not only possesed a powerful voice but also employed a hand signal that the true fans of heavy metal could identify: the extended devil horns, symbol of Satan, he is near! Ozzy's hand symbol was the double peace symbol, employed by hippies and Nixon. Hardly original, or evil.
Anyway, for some reason, Dungeons and Dragons gamers got into Dio as well, seeing him as some kind of Wizard or something.
Another band dwelling in the realm of the true Metal between worlds of good and evil is MANOWAR

They're like this ridiculously macho, animal fur wearing bunch with an operatic singer, an adherence to heavy metal principles to biblical purportions and of great appeal to nerdy kids who buy into it.
Now it is 20 years later. Manowar is still performing to their core audience. Black Sabbath will continue to cash in for as long as their creaky bones will carry them. By the way,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY OZZY! WHAT DO YOU WANT THIS YEAR?
Um, never mind.

I like the D very much, but to revamp their idealism and originality in the wake of their growing popularity is unfortunate. Their mythology was very specific. They recieved INSPIRATO from the unholy and it gave them the power and courage to rock the socks off the apathetic open mic crowd they first entertained. It gave them drive and willingness to train hard and endure the pain and strain of up to one COCK PUSH-UP per set to be better rockers.
We listen to THE METAL as Jack name checks great bands we already know, but my favorite part of the album in during MASTER EXPLODER where he simply boasts "I do not need a microphone, because my voice is fucking POWERFUL!" With the lead guitar interplaying with the melody, this is the direction I believe suits the D's progress the best. I am all for Ronnie Dio's actual cameo, answering JB's prayers to the metal God in Kickapoo. The reappearance of Sasquatch is another distictly D bit, and Papagenu is another fun track. I recommend the CD, haven't seen the movie yet. That's got me thinking...woudn't it be the ultimate trade of souls to the devil for a hit movie turnout. Studio heads would be lined up at the door of Hades.
I hope this gives you an idea of what Tenacious D is referring to in the half-serious heavy metal revival. They don't really worship Satan, the proof is apparently at the box office, a good scandal might bring out the bad publicity oglers. People would show up to protest the film as being Pro-Satanic and people would be more vocal standing up in their love of the D.
Either that or the true-Metal geeks out there are too broke or too ashamed to go to the flix sans date. It's not like supporting a band live, you're just going to your local theater, it feels the same as if you were going to see a Cameron Diaz movie. The D are fun personalities but perhaps their ideal realm was HBO and that time has come and gone. I'm sure a live tour would do well but movies are the ultimate risk for the producers. Even from a sociological stand point this essay is of a marginal nature, but it's better than blathering on about Fed Ex. Like the Intrepid, all ships must sail.

Friday, December 01, 2006

Thank God It's Union Job Friday


It's been over 2 working days since our $75,000 Konica Minolta copier broke down at my job. It did so rather arbitrarily. All that remained was to deliver our last successfully copied paper to the Business Mail Depot in Brentwood. This place feels like the ultimate achivement for USPS personnel to rest their weary feet at last behind a big gray desk and demand correct paperwork.
Today I caught the fellows not too busy, but in the midst of Xmas holiday decorations. Several boxes of ornaments from years of use were laid out. There were wreaths about 12" diameter being Scotch taped into windows 2 X 4, centered and looking like a bum smear. There were lights wrapped around cardboard for storage. One worker about 60 years old was hanging a single red ornament suspended by a ribbon in the center of a massive hanging metal duct.
I told him "You don't seem to be having much fun."
He replied "As long as I'm getting paid, I don't care"
I said "But this is fun stuff"
October was more fun, it was Business Mail Customer Appreciation week and they had Frito snacks, donuts and soda laid out. Just enought to ruin my lunch appetite.