L'Deaux- Season 2 Wrap-up (As If...)

Yo, what happened to my readership? Thought I had a thing going with the lesbian community and all, me being a straight guy with a sensitive streak. I was hoping this would lead to a touring gig with Toshi Reagon, or maybe play lead guitar in Heart (More on that later).
Dayum, I could have been the original Angus, except with better facial hair. Actually I am that. Feel real sorry for that actor, he did a really good job as Sam Phillips in Walk the Line, but as a rock and roll performer ah...nope.

So I will persevere for novelty's sake, and if you're a really fuckin' hardcore fan of the VAGENE, and it's inherent element, the G, read on, and comment, you lez-beenz!!

The rating system again, LF/DF (Like-ability, Do-abilty)

Season Two, bitches!


Alice
LF/DF: 8/8
Well the production designers settled on a look and she looks really good here. She's not all wrapped up in the Our Chart and that makes her less creepy, although it is a good move that she brings in up on the radio show. Somehow, the whirlwind fuckfest with Dana feels wrong to me. They're such good friends and so sympatico, it's hard to impose deeper feelings between the two. Alice is the more dominant personality and the personality of the romance. However, Dana is growing more confident at such an exponential rate that she is not subjugating herself to her romatic paramour anymore. After finally vanquishing the repulsive Tanya, the sky's the limit for Dana and this leaves Alice soon to be heartbroken. Sad times ahead, but Alice has plenty of spirit flowing through that bangin' bod. Holla!

Bette
LF/DF: 8/7
I am happy to give Bette a higher rating this season. She is the only character with a real backbone and Fuck-You quality, and she's still hot n' sexy. Also props for taking much grief and guff and stuff. Coming clean with her sinful ways and making it back with Tina the long way. She Urned it. More props for being good mom at birthing, good daughter at dad's funeral and good sister to Kit in general. Big FUs to Helena and the museum director.

Carmen
LF/DF: 6/9
Just smokin' man. Hot lil' bod, nice toothy smile, fun lovin' disc spinnin babe, but totally undecisive as to who she want to be bangin'. You got Shane, you got Jenny beggin' for that BEAV. No questions, give it up, dammit!

Dana
LF/DF: 9/8
Those weeks with Tanya were just painful. Hard to endure, you could see the frustration building up. Thank goodness for a clean, amicable break. Melissa Rivers!! That's funny stuff. Anyway, Dana looks great, has a great work ethic (she works, folks) under a lot of pressure. But perhaps the balance of career and relationship is too difficult for Dana to balance, but she's trying to make it work. She' a horny gay woman with years of no fingerbanging to make up for. Can't blame her for hooking up with Alice, it's comfortable and acceptable to her friends. Dana searches for a way to satisfy herself, only to find she is servicing her partner and her sponsors first.

Helena
LF/DF: 0/2
Let's just say the writers have an axe to grind with trust fund babies. Helena is gratuitously shot as a series of reaction ranging from power-trippery to jealous scavenging wantonness. It's going to be interesting to see how she works her way into the lesbian coven, after being disowned by her mother. She's definitely got it coming.
Folks, I was definitely grossed out. Grossed out by the pregnant cunnilingus. I don't know what that makes me, but there it it. I think an infection was spread to the baby by Helena's tongue from hell. Then to see her perving on other women, wishing they were knocked up so she could do nasty things to their hormone-swollen bodies. Sick, Was she trying to suck the amniotic fluid out of Tina? Is Helena that hungry for power and estrogen that she's gotta do that? Fuckin sick!

Jenny
LF/DF: 6/6
Holy shit, it's alright to like Jenny! With a heavy hint of caution. Apparently the producers were met with tons of hate mail by the hardcore lady-humps offended by the ever irritating presence of the psycho straight waif. Clearly steps have been made to make the character more likeable, but still maintain a degree of unpredictable edginess. I thought fair warning was due when she came on to Carmen, more crazy Jenny sex starved loony stuff. But eventually Jenny didn't threaten anyone with her self destructive ways but herself.
Now, the notion of stripping being a cathartic experience to expunge yourself of bad childhood memories is something I don't necessarily believe in, but clearly the writers do. Jenny endorses the activity explicitly, and follows through by cutting herself, a punishment for her (unwilling) participation in a shameful, horrible experience. This will hopefully be a positive for her in the next season, with the combination of her writing class with Sandra Bernhardt. Maybe she will divert the energy from her confused sex life and put it into her writing, which may transmogrify from plagiarism and vampirism to ecstatic self-realization and dark catharsis where it belongs, I guess. Dig the short cut.

Kit
LF/DF: 7/5
Not much happening with Kit this season. I'm all for her taking over the Planet, big chance there. i'm even for her brief romance with Benjamin's TOE, who looks like a Milk Dud. Got her in the state of mind she needed to be in.

Shane
LF/DF: 8/7
I like the short hair, I like the integrity. Taking a gig with a big crazy director and telling her to fuck off when it just became filling her ego void. Still a good friend, but I don't know why the writers would even entertain hooking her up with Jenny even briefly. Too much room for conflict. Just keep it on the chill tip Shane-O. Cut Jenny's hair, bang the shit out of Carmen and you'll be fine.

Tina:
LF/DF: 7/4
Wow, looks like she's carrying Season 1 and 2's baby simultaneously. Huge! I can understand the arc of making Bette slowly work her way back and using Helena as a bit of leverage, but that was taking things a bit too far with H, as it turned out. Ick!

Now I've got something to say about home birthing devices. What an egregious waste! A huge, largely temporary device you use only once and then have to go to the hospital anyway. How do you biodegrade that? Landfill sucker! Minus point.

Now I've got something to say about cloth diapers. I assume they'll come to be utilized by the new parents. Madonna recently endorsed cloth diapers as a great environment-saver. I'm sure they're great if you can afford somebody to clean them for you. But I'll bet there are millions of parents that would slit their wrists if you took away their Pampers.
And Sheryl Crow, another tree-huggin adopt-a celebutard. One square of toilet tissue? Perfect to absorb that cube of edamame you had for lunch, but me and my Popeye's Spicy 5 piece need half a roll at least. Why can't these ladies age gracefully like Marianne Faithfull and eventually die elegantly like Anita O'Day?
Smoke 'em if you got 'em ladies, as long as they're backstage.

See you after Season 3, or sooner if I can pass the audition for Heart. I got Crazy on you on the Brain!