More why bother ethos

For those of you still reading my blog you must be saying to yourself 'Why am I wasting my precious cyber-time on this asshole?" You see someone and hear how great he is then he did something awful and you're crestfallen and betrayed. And don't be surprised if it ever happens to you, Whether you live in New York or DC or Bangkok your integrity will be questioned and the face in the hotel mirror you see is not a perfect being.
So why I am I sharing all my bullshit with you when you abdicate yourself from any moral obligation to give me a little feedback, an anonymous fucking email would suffice. But you people are so smart not to get involved because it would expose you getting involved with me. Apathetic, isolated, too busy to give a rats ass to a lazy jobless jerk, and drunk to boot (at this moment). As physically disciplined, imminently accessable and occasionally charming as I am, an uptight irritating Parasite gets more respect in the long run.
Who am I kidding? Did I think a possible employer would give me a break if they saw what an honest and interesting human being I am by reading my blog? No I am a GODDAMN FUCKING FOOL!! Fate has not interevened for me in this case, over 6 months of searching. RITZ CAMERA, Bite me!!!! 3 weeks ago I was told I'd be hired when the managers could agree on how little they would pay me and how little hours and "we'll call you" Excuse me, but I'm a little pissed off right now, it seems like no coincidence that my life is going down the tubes with my most recent hopes as well. That bit of friendliness set a bad precedent, the next bad precedent is COSI, you hear that? If I'm lucky I'll be slinging sandwiches downtown. I came all this way, spent 3,500 dollars on new skills and education and now I'll be serving lunch with a big ???? hanging over my head. Is it more dignified to be jobless and jibing with the Washington Intelligencia I've come to know or return to my blissfully mediocre and solitary self? I'm just tired and soul-crushed.
And we have another ultra-conservative on the Supreme Court. Yeah everyones pissed about that, but why listen to my fucking opinion, what am I some great pundit? A fucking blogger? HAHAHAHAHAHA. Pathetic!

Bang Qigong

Now don't think I've lost my mind, although if I did I wouldn't miss it. Finding myself abjectly in need of inner strength I journey all the way across the street in cold windy weather, hoo boy, To the Future Green, a recently opened Green Goods center and attended a free Qigong group session. I'd been kind of leery of it, seeing it in action in a protest environment down on Wall St and on the Mall. Why is a form of meditation/yoga and its practitioners being persecuted? Like most things, it's about politics, specifically the Chinese Communist goveernment. Now ain't y'all scared, well I guess we all are. So anyway for about 2 hours I hung in there with a group of 5 stretching and holding positions and arching my middle finger slightly to give it a vaguely Buddhist countenance. I had visions. With arms outstretched i felt like a bird gliding through misty mountains. Grounded, hand curved in lap and throat I felt kinda serpentine. My legs burned but my mind felt calm afterwards. If you like monitoring your breathing, listening to your body in general, I'd recommend it. TV seems extra stupid and trivial now, Ruined!

Here's Julie

I know it's been a while since I posted any pictures of Julie on my blog. People use the internet to indulge their narcissism, to send anonymous hate mail and post their privates for perusal. I think it's a valuable tool that can better express what one vocally cannot, the bytes speak for themselves. There hasn't been much I've been witholding here, my mundane or revelatory experiences notwithstanding. But perhaps the obvious needs to be shown. My girlfriend Julie has made my presence known to the top members of the media she knows, has taken me to the White House twice to meet the Bushes, McClellan, Rove etc. As comfortable as I've been living in the shadows before I need to walk within the light and feel at peace. While we do have our independent interests and tastes we share an overall philosophy of life that it should be enjoyed with the simplest pleasures.

Testing Slide

Lets see if this HTML works. This is the olde Poecide series, shot at Sears, plus shots from other gigs from the mid 90s. Pardon my narcissism, but those were fun shows. Next time there'll be pics of my beautiful girlfriend, OK? OK?

What have I to prove?

Time for a periodic muse on my progress. Last week it seemed like I had a job in the bag. Since then I've been left totally hanging that bag on the doorknob, ready to grab it and open that sucker. Let the rain come in May, for the sun shines today, the slip outside their heads, you might as well be dead..er, no time to quote Lennon, though there is always time for me.
Let me start again, well, if you look at folks whose careers have taken them over a bit, their main concern is holding on to their humanity and youth,. Am I getting burnt out, Boring, Anal to the point of pain? Don't sit on that!! Yeeouch!
Why George, by G why? Merely in honor of a character who decreed that he do the opposite, and succeeded immediately. So, while it's merely my circumstances that are of the opposite nature my humane attributes will remain the same. Does this mean I'll get the job? Yes, yes, that's it, let me strip down and say a little mantra before I go out. (Mantra not to be revealed this week) Clever ploy. Stay tuned for the next Seinf...no....Everyone Loves The Murkin.

Too painful to laugh

It's getting to be annoying. My chest congestion, is it allergy or strain related? I dunno, but I have been over exerting a bit, at less than simple excercise rates. Had to haul ass to the Smithsonian for training this morning, was a bit late. Toured the American History museum, saw more stuff, yet more, even more stuff. It's all good. Hauled ass back, couch came3 hours later but it came, too exhausted to open it and deal with more cardboard. Hauled the old TV into a cab to NE, Metroed back.
Is this a blog or a laundry list? Sorry.

Sometime in between Spyro turned me on The Gavones. Supposedly they're from Jersey, they're on MySpace, that's all anyone really knows at this point. But they are pretty fucking funny, especially their tender ballad "I love that car"

So I'm doing this painful wheezing and can't control myself from the Italian exhortations of this stupid band. They're like the Mentors meet the Sopranos.

More newness afoot?

Ah, let's seem been busy...a transitory week, but one that has not reached it's full fruition. Today was rainy, didn't leave the block. Rearranging the living room stuff to accomodate the new creature comforts, both formal and functional. Back to the Smithsonian tomorrow for more VIARC training. Been to 3 highlight tours to gain a bit of extra credit while I still can. Supposedly I am to be hired by Ritz Camera & Photo but they haven't called me in to show up for any specifc reason. Still I feel productive and wheezy, in this flakey flakey world I am Master DoItNow. I suppose a bit of Anderson Cooper has rubbed off on me. So what's my take on Andy? He seems like decent guy. I would have never guessed his sexual orientation, I suppose to most of the populace he is the straight man's gay, don't ask don't tell, but wear the uniform with a smirk of pride. Look, you see those pursed lips and slightly arched brow? How could I have missed that? Yes I admire his guts and gungho-itiveness, but must he have such a push? Face of the network I know and I hear CNN people get fucked on pay, but give someone else a bone, eh? So um... I guess I watch toomuch TV, where the hell are my Netflix?

Ironic cover song of the week

I'm gonna rock this one day...maybe.

Might I be cooking?

A productive day with a different sort of banging my head against the proverbial wall. Hooked up the printer/scanner/fax combo, doing much realignment as I went. I thought it might be more complex, having the DSL router and filters to deal with, but with the splitter handy it gave me the confidence to forge on. Later on I was inspired to finally reconfigure my Mac Mail to utilize my unused thus far verizon account. I am now Murkini and (real name) @verizon.net.
I proceeded up 15th to Ritz camera to pick up more online photo prints. They had the For Hire sign up since before Xmas but I hadn't yet caught the right vibe to opine about the poisition. When I finally did, the manager was actually elated, saying "great, I just had to fire my whole staff!" Oh well, looks like I might have an (immediate) future there.
Walking back I started listening to Ye Olde Space band...the 2nd album from The Moog Cookbook. This is just about the most delightful sugar-coated classic rock kitsch you'll ever hear. Can't help feeling good listening to this. I remember back in my roadie days of 1997-98 when I had the 1st album on cassette and I turned everyone on to it. They didn't think this band existed, and with a slight exaggeration, word of mouth and suspended disbelief, the general belief was that this was actually a demo tape of mine, my secret collaboration with David Lee Roth. Which is not far from the truth. I did cut some groovy organ demos and Moog Cookbook is actually a duo frm LA. Speaking of Roth, I hear he has replaced Howard Stern for the morning shift on K-Roc. Interesting choice. Wonder how he's doing. Does DC simulcast this?
Back to the Moog boys, they are so fucking good they had me iPod dancing to the boss bossa nova version of Black Hole Sun like I was one-dimensional. It might be a couple of days before I get into Johnny Cash mode. Gotta get Unearthed.
Currently celebrating the end of College Football season with a bucket of Popeyes Chicken. Happy eve!

How to roll (your eyes) in 2006

Shoppers anxiety is a tough thing to overcome, but it's easier if you have good credit. I have no job, but good credit. Hey employers, that means I'm doubly good and responsible. And I can spell. And I'm smart enough to walk into Best Buy and locate the right product at the right time. HDTV is coming down, steady and sure. Got the right size at the right (fixed) price. A year ago this unit was probably going for a bunch more bux with half as many HD channels available, Can't wait until Friday.
By the way (BUYERS INCLUDED-READ THIS) there is Nothing Wrong with our current set. I may not have measured it right, it's a 25 or 3o inch Sanyo. Kinda old school, so old in fact, it's dates back to another life...a transition if you will. Apparently a gift from my dear Julie's not so dear ex-husband. Um....asshole, stop checking me out on Friendster with those imaginary bitches you like to invent. Listen HUN, I don't wanna chat, thank you.
A postmordem apparently in order for the staffing agency who will be without my prodigious services. I do feel embarrassed and sullied about my resume padding. Actually it's more like puttying. I'm proud of my background like I like my smile, even though I have a gap between my 2 front teeth you can squeeze a credit card through. It's not a stinky abcess, it's character. As was my 5 years of self-employment, a period rich in artistic pursuit and social service. And I did search my ass off and fax resumes on a regular basis from the Worker Career Center (25 Elm Pl., Brooklyn). But I suppose something in my lifestyle indicated that I was something of an outcast, which is clearly not the case now. Anyway, I dont' blame them for not forgiving me on this one, and you know, they're not the only employment agency out there, if that's the route I'm going to go anyway. Temping is by it's nature temporary no matter how autonomous you may be. Hey if you were a fully trained, finshed product by now, you wouldn't be knocking on the thick glass doors of an agency would you?